Ah WrestleMania. I know it’s been a long, difficult year. I know how tired we all are, and how deeply we yearn for our lives to resume some degree of normalcy. I understand how much it meant to have a live audience at Raymond James Stadium, but I must admit that as I watched, I also worried about all those exposed faces and all of the breathing and yelling and eating and drinking occurring in such close proximity. As Vince opened the show, I was touched by what looked like Rhea Ripley’s tears of joy and by the solemnity of the superstars onstage. Then, I was immediately distracted by the crazy vamping that occurred as a result of the weather delay. Why does Drew McIntyre suddenly enjoy saying “bitch” so much? Also, a question that has puzzled me since the beginning of my wrestling journey: why the gross, stringy hair? Drew McIntyre is a looker, but that hair is a lot…
Speaking of McIntyre and Lashley, I was delighted to see Bobby Lashley retain the title in the first match. Though I don’t know much about wrestling history, I do know wrestling has a fraught and problematic relationship with race, and I’m excited to see a black wrestler at the very top of the Raw brand as the “All Mighty” era continues. (Btw, WWE, why not “almighty”? *shrug*). I LOVE women’s matches, and I was super pumped for the women’s Tag Team Turmoil match. It went off well, but sadly the thing I remember most is poor Mandy Rose’s fall. Glad Tamina and Natalya got the win. They were definitely looking fierce. Natalya’s cut-out thing was, to borrow a phrase from the Miz, awesome 🙂
Gotta take a moment to complain here. What is going on with Bayley? I love her look and her talk show schtick, but I also wanna see her wrestle. Come on WWE, you just don’t have anything for Bayley to do??? When I began occasionally casually watching Pay-Per-Views a couple years ago, I went crazy over the Four Horsewomen and the change they represented in the way the WWE sees/portrays female wrestling. I’m super excited to watch that trend continue with the first two women of color to HEADLINE WrestleMania (more on that later), but I also retain a soft spot for Bayley, Becky, and Charlotte. Give Bayley all the things to do!!!!
Cesaro vs. Seth was an excellent match. Those two are hella fun to watch, and I’m glad Cesaro got the win. Seth is super pretty (except for that hair), a delight on the mic, and a great wrestler, so I’m always excited to see him onscreen (full disclosure, he’s also on my fantasy wrestling league team). However, was anyone else a little taken aback and slightly discomfited by the vaguely fascist-looking vibe of his whole entrance? I get that he’s a heel and he’s doing the whole “embrace the vision” thing, but sometimes I worry that the WWE relies too heavily on tropes that “feel” scary or threatening without considering why those tropes feel that way and the consequences of perpetuating them.
I loved seeing Big E introduce The New Day, but throughout their match with Omos and A.J. Styles, I kept thinking, how do you pronounce Omos’s name? Why do the announcers and wrestlers all seem to pronounce it differently? A. J. fought most of the match which kinda made sense. Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods seemed terrified of Omos, which I found a bit weird. I get it, he’s a super big dude, but you guys wrestle big dudes for a living. Are you that frightened? Omos felt like an untouchable superhero movie villain which kinda took me out of it.
Next, we move onto the steel cage match with Braun Strowman and Shane McMahon. Can I just say, I think Shane’s shuffle looks pretty silly? I say it every time I see his entrance, and if anything, it only gets truer each time. Also, this Braun Strowman storyline is, dare I say it? ssssss….ssss….ssss…stupid. I have no sense of the reason why Shane McMahon is provoking Braun, and Shane isn’t really convincing as a conniving, well-educated business school graduate. Is he supposed to be? I’m honestly not sure. It’s fun and scary to see the fifty-something Shane McMahon take crazy bumps like the one he took off the top of the cage, but otherwise, the match was just alright. Braun looks way better without the skin-tight shirt. Why does he spit so much? Why does his dialogue with Shane strike me as particularly sexually-charged? We’ll never know.
So, some might say the story with the Miz and Morrison vs. Damian Priest and Bad Bunny is equally stupid. Those people might be right, but also, I love it. I could watch the Miz and Morrison heel it up all day. They are DELIGHTFUL. Their “Hey Hey Hop Hop” song is awful and I’m sure it is supposed to be, but it’s also stuck in my head this morning so I guess the joke is on me. I know the big story of this match was how well Bad Bunny actually held his own. He really was amazing. For me, the highlight of the whole storyline has been the Miz and Morrison promos. Morrison’s hair is full of secrets, y’all! Not sure I needed to see Bad Bunny ride in on an 18-wheeler, but I guess I’ve got to respect his dedication to the flash and pizazz of wrestling. He did a completely incredible job for a celebrity guest wrestler.
Finally, BIANCA AND SASHA!!! Can I just say that they killed it? Completely, 10,000 percent killed it for me. I thought the match was excellent (even if the ending was a tad less awesome than the rest of the match-Bianca’s hair is a bit gimmicky). I also LOVED their looks, especially Sasha. That black and green was incredible. She looked like Maleficent cosplaying as Sasha Banks. Her hair had this total evil seaweed vibe going on and it completely worked for me. Once they were in the ring, I was worried that Bianca’s emotion at the beginning of the match was going to be a problem for the rest of the match, even though I understood why she was feeling so intense. But, she pulled it together and they were off! I really can’t say how much I think it might mean to the younger fans of WWE to see a super strong black woman headline Wrestlemania and win a title match. Sasha and Bianca are, of course, gorgeous, but I also appreciate that they both look strong AND beautiful. Overall, a fun night one! I’m excited to see what night two has in store!
Ashley Paige 