Not to be harsh, but I think the outcomes of the matches at Wrestlemania Backlash could all be summed up by one word: “predictable.” To be fair, this pay per view seems tricky. You don’t want to deprive wrestlers of the momentum they gained at Wrestlemania, and you probably don’t want to rock the boat too much. But, at the same time, I think you want to try to avoid utter predictability. I definitely found some of the matches enjoyable, though. Even though we ended up in the same place where we started, I had a pretty fun ride.
Backlash opened with Rhea Ripley vs. Asuka vs. Charlotte Flair after Charlotte Flair wormed her way into the match by charming Sonya Deville. (By the way, now I’m shipping them.) I had a lot of fun watching the match, and I thought Charlotte’s black and white queen outfit looked amazing. I’m not sure why she had Dalmatian spots on her wrestling gear, but I loved her entrance. Charlotte can also do some incredible stuff in the ring. I know she is a legacy and some think she’s had an easier time breaking into the business than others as a result, but to me, she has also earned her spot at the top of the woman’s card. She can do that moonsault, and she did that double “Natural Selection.” I love Asuka, and I particularly enjoy watching her mouth the words to her own theme music—occasionally getting them wrong—as she comes out. She wrestles with such energy, and I feel like she genuinely enjoys being there, which helps me get into it. Rhea is growing on me, but I still think her smile is a little too friendly. It was clear that Rhea was going to retain the title—otherwise why have her win it at Wrestlemania? But I don’t like the way Asuka keeps losing to her. We are heading into a Charlotte vs. Rhea feud. What’s going to happen to Asuka? Maybe she’ll get some attention from Alexa Bliss who randomly popped up on her swing set at Raw last week.
The Dirty Dawgs decided to beat on the second half of the dynamic father-son duo that is Rey Mysterio and Dominik Mysterio. I guess rookies and adorable father/son teams make them angry? We needed to see the kid’s resilience, plus, something had to elevate the match in which the first ever father/son tag team won a title. It was a little contrived, but we did get to see Rey battle it out on his on for a while. I love watching that flippy shit. I kept trying to call when Dominik was going to come limping out, determined to help his father take that title. As it turned out, I kept calling it way too early. They let those guys go on for a while until the inevitable eventually came to pass. Dominik limped out and tried to convince his father with futile gestures to tag his own injured son into the match, putting Rey in a bit of an odd position. Eventually, Dominik just tagged himself in. The kid took a little punishment before hitting a a nice frog splash from the top rope. It was pretty solid, but not quite as crazy looking as Montez Ford’s. My husband wishes Ziggler would win with the Famouser just once.
I LOVED THE ZOMBIE LUMBERJACKS. I am HERE for crazy shit, and I am especially here for crazy shit when it involves the Miz and newly branded Johnny Drip Drip. I do not get the “Drip Drip” thing, but it’s so weird that it feels original, and Morrison actually has pretty good comedic chops. Plus, he’s really won me over as a wrestler—the stuff that guy can do in the ring! Too bad the end of the match saw him literally being dragged down behind a partition by two zombies—and eaten? I guess? The Miz’s fate seemed even worse. By the time the camera panned away from him, he was lying in the middle of the ring literally covered in zombies presumably busy devouring his flesh. Damian Priest didn’t seem too bothered. He considered a rescue but ended up walking away then pointing up to a screen displaying the title of Batista’s new movie. As the next match started, one of the new announcers was literally asking if John Morrison and the Miz had just died. It was a legitimate question. They probably should’ve checked before going on with the show. The zombie match was batshit, and Batista’s new zombie movie doesn’t look very good. But although the cross-promotion attempt hasn’t convinced me to check it out, I enjoyed the way WWE leaned in to total insanity. I hope Miz and Morrison come back as zombies.
I stopped thinking about the zombie apocalypse when BAYLEY entered the ring because that’s what she does to me. I knew she wasn’t going to win, but I was just happy to see her in a match. It felt like forever since we had seen her wrestle, and she actually surprised me with how good she was. This was probably my favorite match of the night. I loved the way Bayley asked the ref how much time she still had before hauling Bianca back into the ring. I thought the match had a lot of energy and ferocity, and I’m excited to see where this feud will go. I don’t love Bayley’s new laughing schtick, though I appreciate how much work she puts into changing her character up. I also appreciate how strong and capable Bayley and Bianca looked in this match. As a girl who grew up seeing pretty much exclusively stick-thin representations of beautiful, capable women on TV, I find it actually surprisingly meaningful that fit, strong women get to rule the day here. It makes me wish I had seen similar representations in my childhood.
I found my interest waning a bit with the next match because I’ve gotten a bit sick of the top card stories on Raw and Smackdown. However, Drew McIntyre, Bobby Lashley, and Braun Strowman put on a pretty good show. I was a little worried about Braun Strowman in a couple spots where it looked like he could have landed on his head or neck. He’s a big dude to be diving off the apron. I liked the Bobby Lashley spot with the sparks, and I think taking him out for a bit helped the match feel well paced. It also made him seem fresher when he returned to the ring to pin Braun Strowman and retain the title. The era of the “All Mighty” continues.
Finally, it was time to see Roman Reigns fight Cesaro. I’ve got to say that I’m probably most frustrated with this top card story. When will Roman Reigns lose? Is he a cheap mobster-type who takes advantage of stooges like Jey Uso, or is he a true powerhouse in his own right? The WWE can’t seem to decide, so they oscillate as needed. I actually think the reintroduction of Jimmy Uso could make this story really interesting. What is going to happen with Jey Uso’s divided loyalty? Will Jey and Jimmy finally team up to take Roman Reigns down? The problem is that Cesaro is really hot right now, and his story got subsumed into this Reigns/Uso brothers thing. All his momentum just built him up so that he could be fed to Roman Reigns then go right back to Seth? Does the bully always win here? What was the point of the angle with Kevin Owens and the huge fight with Daniel Bryan and Edge at Wrestlemania if Roman Reigns is going to keep dominating? It feels wrong to have wrestlers continuously give big speeches about how much the title means to them and how they fight for their families, truth, beauty, and the American Way, all before Roman takes them down in matches that always end with a guillotine.
All in all, good pay per view. Join me next time!
A Haiku for Bayley:
“Ding Dong, Hello!” “Yes?”
Bayley steps into my heart
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Ashley Paige 