Not to be harsh, but I think the outcomes of the matches at Wrestlemania Backlash could all be summed up by one word: “predictable.” To be fair, this pay per view seems tricky. You don’t want to deprive wrestlers of the momentum they gained at Wrestlemania, and you probably don’t want to rock the boat too much. But, at the same time, I think you want to try to avoid utter predictability. I definitely found some of the matches enjoyable, though. Even though we ended up in the same place where we started, I had a pretty fun ride.

Backlash opened with Rhea Ripley vs. Asuka vs. Charlotte Flair after Charlotte Flair wormed her way into the match by charming Sonya Deville. (By the way, now I’m shipping them.) I had a lot of fun watching the match, and I thought Charlotte’s black and white queen outfit looked amazing. I’m not sure why she had Dalmatian spots on her wrestling gear, but I loved her entrance. Charlotte can also do some incredible stuff in the ring. I know she is a legacy and some think she’s had an easier time breaking into the business than others as a result, but to me, she has also earned her spot at the top of the woman’s card. She can do that moonsault, and she did that double “Natural Selection.” I love Asuka, and I particularly enjoy watching her mouth the words to her own theme music—occasionally getting them wrong—as she comes out. She wrestles with such energy, and I feel like she genuinely enjoys being there, which helps me get into it. Rhea is growing on me, but I still think her smile is a little too friendly. It was clear that Rhea was going to retain the title—otherwise why have her win it at Wrestlemania? But I don’t like the way Asuka keeps losing to her. We are heading into a Charlotte vs. Rhea feud. What’s going to happen to Asuka? Maybe she’ll get some attention from Alexa Bliss who randomly popped up on her swing set at Raw last week.

The Dirty Dawgs decided to beat on the second half of the dynamic father-son duo that is Rey Mysterio and Dominik Mysterio. I guess rookies and adorable father/son teams make them angry? We needed to see the kid’s resilience, plus, something had to elevate the match in which the first ever father/son tag team won a title. It was a little contrived, but we did get to see Rey battle it out on his on for a while. I love watching that flippy shit. I kept trying to call when Dominik was going to come limping out, determined to help his father take that title. As it turned out, I kept calling it way too early. They let those guys go on for a while until the inevitable eventually came to pass. Dominik limped out and tried to convince his father with futile gestures to tag his own injured son into the match, putting Rey in a bit of an odd position. Eventually, Dominik just tagged himself in. The kid took a little punishment before hitting a a nice frog splash from the top rope. It was pretty solid, but not quite as crazy looking as Montez Ford’s. My husband wishes Ziggler would win with the Famouser just once.

I LOVED THE ZOMBIE LUMBERJACKS. I am HERE for crazy shit, and I am especially here for crazy shit when it involves the Miz and newly branded Johnny Drip Drip. I do not get the “Drip Drip” thing, but it’s so weird that it feels original, and Morrison actually has pretty good comedic chops. Plus, he’s really won me over as a wrestler—the stuff that guy can do in the ring! Too bad the end of the match saw him literally being dragged down behind a partition by two zombies—and eaten? I guess? The Miz’s fate seemed even worse. By the time the camera panned away from him, he was lying in the middle of the ring literally covered in zombies presumably busy devouring his flesh. Damian Priest didn’t seem too bothered. He considered a rescue but ended up walking away then pointing up to a screen displaying the title of Batista’s new movie. As the next match started, one of the new announcers was literally asking if John Morrison and the Miz had just died. It was a legitimate question. They probably should’ve checked before going on with the show. The zombie match was batshit, and Batista’s new zombie movie doesn’t look very good. But although the cross-promotion attempt hasn’t convinced me to check it out, I enjoyed the way WWE leaned in to total insanity. I hope Miz and Morrison come back as zombies.

I stopped thinking about the zombie apocalypse when BAYLEY entered the ring because that’s what she does to me. I knew she wasn’t going to win, but I was just happy to see her in a match. It felt like forever since we had seen her wrestle, and she actually surprised me with how good she was. This was probably my favorite match of the night. I loved the way Bayley asked the ref how much time she still had before hauling Bianca back into the ring. I thought the match had a lot of energy and ferocity, and I’m excited to see where this feud will go. I don’t love Bayley’s new laughing schtick, though I appreciate how much work she puts into changing her character up. I also appreciate how strong and capable Bayley and Bianca looked in this match. As a girl who grew up seeing pretty much exclusively stick-thin representations of beautiful, capable women on TV, I find it actually surprisingly meaningful that fit, strong women get to rule the day here. It makes me wish I had seen similar representations in my childhood.

I found my interest waning a bit with the next match because I’ve gotten a bit sick of the top card stories on Raw and Smackdown. However, Drew McIntyre, Bobby Lashley, and Braun Strowman put on a pretty good show. I was a little worried about Braun Strowman in a couple spots where it looked like he could have landed on his head or neck. He’s a big dude to be diving off the apron. I liked the Bobby Lashley spot with the sparks, and I think taking him out for a bit helped the match feel well paced. It also made him seem fresher when he returned to the ring to pin Braun Strowman and retain the title. The era of the “All Mighty” continues.

Finally, it was time to see Roman Reigns fight Cesaro. I’ve got to say that I’m probably most frustrated with this top card story. When will Roman Reigns lose? Is he a cheap mobster-type who takes advantage of stooges like Jey Uso, or is he a true powerhouse in his own right? The WWE can’t seem to decide, so they oscillate as needed. I actually think the reintroduction of Jimmy Uso could make this story really interesting. What is going to happen with Jey Uso’s divided loyalty? Will Jey and Jimmy finally team up to take Roman Reigns down? The problem is that Cesaro is really hot right now, and his story got subsumed into this Reigns/Uso brothers thing. All his momentum just built him up so that he could be fed to Roman Reigns then go right back to Seth? Does the bully always win here? What was the point of the angle with Kevin Owens and the huge fight with Daniel Bryan and Edge at Wrestlemania if Roman Reigns is going to keep dominating? It feels wrong to have wrestlers continuously give big speeches about how much the title means to them and how they fight for their families, truth, beauty, and the American Way, all before Roman takes them down in matches that always end with a guillotine.

               All in all, good pay per view. Join me next time!

A Haiku for Bayley:

“Ding Dong, Hello!” “Yes?”

Bayley steps into my heart

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

I don’t think I fully appreciated Night 1 until I saw Night 2. It was, in my opinion, a night of some baffling storytelling choices on the part of the WWE. Take the first match: Randy Orton vs. The Fiend. This guy comes back from the dead out of a huge ringside jack-in-the-box only to lose to Randy Orton. Alexa Bliss crown-of-thornsed her way out of the top of the box and distracted The Fiend in the middle of executing the Sister Abigail. At first, I was totally there for this twist. I wanted creepy witch-goddess Alexa Bliss to reveal that The Fiend was under her control now and she’d double crossed him or some such nonsense. But she just sat their bleeding that weird oil-blood and reaching out towards The Fiend until the lights came back on. I know better than to trust the WWE to explain storylines, but I got the sense that the crowd agreed with me: we all wanted to know what the hell was going on. Will we get an explanation on Raw? I mean, probably not, but what a missed opportunity!

            Next we had Tamina and Natalya vs. Shayna Baszler and Nia Jax. Even though I was excited for Tamina and Natalya, the match felt a little slow and lackluster to me. I was pretty impressed with Natalya’s wrestling, though. I haven’t really seen her a lot and she was good! Perhaps it wasn’t that strange to have Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler retain the Tag Team titles, but I still found it a slightly odd choice. They seemed to be setting Natalya and Tamina up with some momentum after the first night, so it was a bit disappointing to watch them lose. Also, though I haven’t always been the biggest fan of the way Reginald sucks up the air in some of the women’s storylines, where was he? His absence was strange considering the whole Nia Jax boytoy angle. Overall, in a night with two women’s matches, I was kinda disappointed this was one of them. I’d rather see Bayley wrestle any day.

            Next up were those lovable Canadian scamps: Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn. Now, I’m a huge Sami Zayn fan. I love his work on the mic, and damn the man can dance. However, as Sami Zayn has moved away from the whole cowardly heel schtick into the delusional conspiracy theorist schtick, I think his story has gotten just a tad uncomfortable. Now Zayn is playing the character almost as a paranoid schizophrenic, and his friend Kevin Owens wants to beat the delusion out of him? I’m not sure that’s going to work, dude. To me it reads as rather cruel. The shenanigans with Logan Paul at the end of the match revealed that the WWE is at least a little confused about where and how audience sympathies are to be directed. The audience was rightfully pissed as Logan Paul and Owens seemed to gang up on Sami Zayn despite Zayn’s obnoxious heel work, but at least the WWE knew enough to have Owens stun Logan Paul.

            Riddle and Sheamus had a good match, though I don’t think much of this storyline. It felt like they didn’t have much for Sheamus to do after his feud with Drew McIntyre, so they threw up their hands, decided they’d have him beat Riddle with a scooter backstage, and voila, Wrestlemania United States Championship match. (Btw, I am the only one who doesn’t understand how we’re supposed to believe these matches are being booked? What is the kayfabe logic here? Who can get a Wrestlemania match? Why? Most importantly, why not Bayley?). I usually don’t see slip-ups, but I think it was pretty obvious that Sheamus messed up a spot where he was supposed to go to the top rope with Riddle on his back. He carried it off pretty well, though, and I’m glad nobody got hurt.

            Okay, so what is a Nigerian Drum Fight? I still don’t know, and I was a little underwhelmed both by the explanation and by the set dressing around the ring. I have so many thoughts about how they’ve rebooted Apollo Crews’s character. It seems crazy to have him show up with an assumed Nigerian accent one day and claim “this is how I talk” when it clearly isn’t. I also worry that WWE is once again drawing on xenophobic tropes to inform their portrayal of a particular heel without really interrogating where those tropes come from and why they might be problematic. But, aside from that, the match was okay. Another super baffling ending though. Why have Big E lose in his hometown to interference by a random dude we’ve never seen before?

            I don’t have much to say about Rhea Ripley and Asuka. I like them both and I thought the match was great. Since I’m a real Asuka fan, I was sad to see that she lost the title, but I get it. It felt a little premature to me since I don’t watch NXT very much and I don’t feel like I know Rhea Ripley well, but she’s got a great look and she’s clearly a great wrestler. Which brings us to…BAYLEY. “HIT MY PYRO” iconic. What. A. Legend. Okay, okay, I’m clearly biased. I was glad to see they gave Bayley something to do, but they clearly still did my girl dirty, and I really hope she gets a real match really soon. Love her glasses, turtlenecks, and overall weird-ass talkshow host vibe. Heel Bayley forever!!!!!

            And then we came to the end…Daniel Bryan, Edge, and Roman Reigns. I have a question, WWE: When will this Roman Reigns storyline end? What will the payoff be? Is “main event” Jey Uso finally going to be the one to take him down? Can Jey Uso carry that? If not Jey Uso, who? I get that people are excited by Roman Reign’s heel work, and I do think he’s got a good look. However, I have no idea where this story is going. Though I haven’t been watching for very long, it seems to me that all too often, the WWE spends lots of time setting up stories and characters only to whiff on the payoff and immediately forget about them. I love spectacle. I love story. I love pageantry and the sheer audacity of the unabashedly ridiculous aesthetic the WWE manages so well. However, with just a little more planning, it could be better.

            Ah well. I’m going to keep watching, and I hope you’re going to keep reading. Until next time!

            Ah WrestleMania. I know it’s been a long, difficult year. I know how tired we all are, and how deeply we yearn for our lives to resume some degree of normalcy. I understand how much it meant to have a live audience at Raymond James Stadium, but I must admit that as I watched, I also worried about all those exposed faces and all of the breathing and yelling and eating and drinking occurring in such close proximity. As Vince opened the show, I was touched by what looked like Rhea Ripley’s tears of joy and by the solemnity of the superstars onstage. Then, I was immediately distracted by the crazy vamping that occurred as a result of the weather delay. Why does Drew McIntyre suddenly enjoy saying “bitch” so much? Also, a question that has puzzled me since the beginning of my wrestling journey: why the gross, stringy hair? Drew McIntyre is a looker, but that hair is a lot…

            Speaking of McIntyre and Lashley, I was delighted to see Bobby Lashley retain the title in the first match. Though I don’t know much about wrestling history, I do know wrestling has a fraught and problematic relationship with race, and I’m excited to see a black wrestler at the very top of the Raw brand as the “All Mighty” era continues. (Btw, WWE, why not “almighty”? *shrug*). I LOVE women’s matches, and I was super pumped for the women’s Tag Team Turmoil match. It went off well, but sadly the thing I remember most is poor Mandy Rose’s fall. Glad Tamina and Natalya got the win. They were definitely looking fierce. Natalya’s cut-out thing was, to borrow a phrase from the Miz, awesome 🙂

            Gotta take a moment to complain here. What is going on with Bayley? I love her look and her talk show schtick, but I also wanna see her wrestle. Come on WWE, you just don’t have anything for Bayley to do??? When I began occasionally casually watching Pay-Per-Views a couple years ago, I went crazy over the Four Horsewomen and the change they represented in the way the WWE sees/portrays female wrestling. I’m super excited to watch that trend continue with the first two women of color to HEADLINE WrestleMania (more on that later), but I also retain a soft spot for Bayley, Becky, and Charlotte. Give Bayley all the things to do!!!!

            Cesaro vs. Seth was an excellent match. Those two are hella fun to watch, and I’m glad Cesaro got the win. Seth is super pretty (except for that hair), a delight on the mic, and a great wrestler, so I’m always excited to see him onscreen (full disclosure, he’s also on my fantasy wrestling league team). However, was anyone else a little taken aback and slightly discomfited by the vaguely fascist-looking vibe of his whole entrance? I get that he’s a heel and he’s doing the whole “embrace the vision” thing, but sometimes I worry that the WWE relies too heavily on tropes that “feel” scary or threatening without considering why those tropes feel that way and the consequences of perpetuating them.

            I loved seeing Big E introduce The New Day, but throughout their match with Omos and A.J. Styles, I kept thinking, how do you pronounce Omos’s name? Why do the announcers and wrestlers all seem to pronounce it differently? A. J. fought most of the match which kinda made sense. Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods seemed terrified of Omos, which I found a bit weird. I get it, he’s a super big dude, but you guys wrestle big dudes for a living. Are you that frightened? Omos felt like an untouchable superhero movie villain which kinda took me out of it.

            Next, we move onto the steel cage match with Braun Strowman and Shane McMahon. Can I just say, I think Shane’s shuffle looks pretty silly? I say it every time I see his entrance, and if anything, it only gets truer each time. Also, this Braun Strowman storyline is, dare I say it? ssssss….ssss….ssss…stupid. I have no sense of the reason why Shane McMahon is provoking Braun, and Shane isn’t really convincing as a conniving, well-educated business school graduate. Is he supposed to be? I’m honestly not sure. It’s fun and scary to see the fifty-something Shane McMahon take crazy bumps like the one he took off the top of the cage, but otherwise, the match was just alright. Braun looks way better without the skin-tight shirt. Why does he spit so much? Why does his dialogue with Shane strike me as particularly sexually-charged? We’ll never know.

            So, some might say the story with the Miz and Morrison vs. Damian Priest and Bad Bunny is equally stupid. Those people might be right, but also, I love it. I could watch the Miz and Morrison heel it up all day. They are DELIGHTFUL. Their “Hey Hey Hop Hop” song is awful and I’m sure it is supposed to be, but it’s also stuck in my head this morning so I guess the joke is on me. I know the big story of this match was how well Bad Bunny actually held his own. He really was amazing. For me, the highlight of the whole storyline has been the Miz and Morrison promos. Morrison’s hair is full of secrets, y’all! Not sure I needed to see Bad Bunny ride in on an 18-wheeler, but I guess I’ve got to respect his dedication to the flash and pizazz of wrestling. He did a completely incredible job for a celebrity guest wrestler.

            Finally, BIANCA AND SASHA!!! Can I just say that they killed it? Completely, 10,000 percent killed it for me. I thought the match was excellent (even if the ending was a tad less awesome than the rest of the match-Bianca’s hair is a bit gimmicky). I also LOVED their looks, especially Sasha. That black and green was incredible. She looked like Maleficent cosplaying as Sasha Banks. Her hair had this total evil seaweed vibe going on and it completely worked for me. Once they were in the ring, I was worried that Bianca’s emotion at the beginning of the match was going to be a problem for the rest of the match, even though I understood why she was feeling so intense. But, she pulled it together and they were off! I really can’t say how much I think it might mean to the younger fans of WWE to see a super strong black woman headline Wrestlemania and win a title match. Sasha and Bianca are, of course, gorgeous, but I also appreciate that they both look strong AND beautiful. Overall, a fun night one! I’m excited to see what night two has in store!       

During the COVID quarantine, many people developed strange hobbies. I never baked sourdough bread or attempted to learn the art of hand lettering, but I did begin watching professional wrestling with my husband. And now, dear reader, I’m in. I’m in deep, and there are things I’d like to talk about. A disclaimer: I don’t really know the history of professional wrestling. I can’t name all the finishers or even, probably, some of the most famous and impressive wrestlers of all time. Furthermore, I’m not always as interested in the matches as I am in the stories that the WWE wants to tell and the way they try to tell those stories. (Also, I do know there are other pro wrestling organizations, but I’m keeping things simple for now.) This blog is my way of shouting into the wrestling void regardless of who reads it or how they came to discover it. I hope to post a new entry after each Pay-Per-View. If I’m fortunate enough to attract any readers to my humble little blog, I hope you will remember to always engage respectfully with one another and with me. Bearing all that in mind, let’s begin.